The Road Less Rattled

Purple haired woman asleep at the wheel in car with green traffic light.I want to talk about something that is a serious problem on the streets of America.  Not pot holes or squirrel carcasses, but road rage.  It’s serious, so I’m going to break it down for you like a high school teacher.

Road rage comes from the words “road,” meaning a thoroughfare, or route on land between two places.  And “rage” which, according to Webster’s Dictionary, means: 1. “Insanity” and 2. A “dirty ragged person.”  Sorry, that’s “ragamuffin” I lost my place in the dictionary.  The second definition is actually “furious, uncontrolled anger, esp. a brief spell of raving fury.”

So, there you have it, “road rage” by definition, is a thoroughfare of raving insanity.  Which, I believe we can all agree on, peaks during rush hour.

The only way to avoid it is to stay off the roads during the summer, spring, winter and sometimes during the fall.  Although people tend to mellow out a little with cooler temperatures and changing leaves.

But not driving in the United States isn’t practical.  And I use the word united as the legal name for our country, not as an adjective describing Americans right now.  On the other hand, maybe if we got this road rage under control we could once again be a United States of America.  But how do we do it?  I have a few suggestions.

First of all, the next time you are driving and the person in front of you isn’t driving properly because they are doing karaoke, or investigating the inside of their nose, or more likely texting, (a personal trigger point of rage for me) just let it go.  I know, it sounds crazy.  But it’s a better option… she said with the hopefulness of a child that believes in Santa Claus.

You’ve probably done it from time to time.  You just have to channel that inner Good Samaritan that you use when you’re at a community gathering.   Like when you’re at your kid’s school events, at church, or a house party on a street with limited parking.   You hold your tongue and your horn, because you might actually know this moron driving.  Or want to know them even though they drive like a 90 year old.

And speaking of 90 year olds, imagine the person sitting at the green light, possibly asleep, is your Granny.  Who, let’s face it, shouldn’t be driving, but you’re not going to give up your precious time to drive her around, are you?

The point is, have a little heart.  Wait for them to see the light.  Maybe give a light toot on your horn, smile and say “Granny, dear, the light is green.”  Which, unfortunately could have a frightening affect as she suddenly wakes and bolts through the red light. (This may or may not have actually happened… OK it actually did, but it was Grandpa that bolted through the red light.  And everyone is fine. Thanks for asking.)

So, be patient.  Be friendly.  And if I let you in front of me, you better give me a thank you wave, or I might plow into your bumper!



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Author: Shay

Shay is an action/adventure screenwriter and humor blogger. She has been married to Prince Charming for 24 years and they have two amazing and talented children.