If You Must Drink – Ask Your Wife

Man buying a drink for his wife in curlers and robe.

I came across a paper in my grandfather’s belongings that had an interesting take on drinking as well as saving money. I don’t know who the writer is, but I’m guessing it was written early in the 20th century based on the perceived cost of living.


                                             SOUND ADVICE

If you cannot absolutely refrain from drinking, start a saloon in your own home. Be the only customer, and you will not have to buy a license. Give your wife $12.00 to buy a gallon of whiskey. There are 128 snorts in a gallon. Buy all your drinks from your wife at .40 cents a shot and in four days when the gallon is gone, your wife will have $39.20 to put in the bank and $12.00 to buy another gallon.

If you live ten years and buy all of your liquor from your wife and then die with snakes in your boots, she will have $35,750.40 on deposit, enough to bury you respectably, bring up your children, buy a home, marry a decent man and forget she ever knew you.

Sound advise indeed:  A saving’s plan for the spouse and keeps the drunks off the roads.

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Author: Shay

Shay is an action/adventure screenwriter and humor blogger. She has been married to Prince Charming for 24 years and they have two amazing and talented children.